I know everyone loves posting their baby's birth stories, and well, I'm no different! This will be lengthy, so consider yourself warned.
Bennett's birth story starts out at Addie's birth once the doctor decided to take me back for c-section. Addie's birth was so many things that I didn't want for the rest of my kids. I will always feel bad for the way that Addie entered into this world. There's nothing I can do about it though, but try to make things different for the rest of our kids, so that's exactly what we did.
From the get-go of Bennett's pregnancy we wanted to do a VBAC. Our doctor was extremely supportive and confident that a VBAC was a good choice for our family. I also decided to enroll in a Hypnobirthing class, not because I'm super granola and think epidurals are bad for babies, blah, blah, blah. We simply wanted to be more educated this time around. We feel that if we'd been a little more educated and assertive with Addie's birth, things may have gone differently. Knowing that Bennett's birth would be my last shot at a normal healthy birth, we set off to educate ourselves so that we would be much better prepared to make the decisions that we'd be faced with.
Hypnobirthing was amazing. I didn't actually get to practice anything during labor, since I never went into labor, but it helped me to remain calm and at peace for most of the pregnancy. I also feel that it really helped Scott and I to bond with Bennett before we ever officially met him. It also helped me to be more patient with Addie and her moments of terrible 2-ness. And lastly, when the time came to actually get the c-section I was at complete peace with it because I knew that this time around, I had done all that I could do and that the c-section truly was the best option.
Towards the end of my pregnancy I started going to my weekly appointments only to have the doctor tell me that no progress was being made. No dilation or effacement. This wasn't too discouraging because it was the same with Addie until I actually went into labor. What was discouraging was that Bennett wasn't dropping, at all. Ever.
This created a problem because Bennett's head was resting directly on my previous incision. If I went into labor and he didn't drop, my contractions would just be pounding his head on my incision time after time, putting me at a huge risk for uterine rupture. No thanks. We know that we want more than 2 kids, so having my uterus erupt really wasn't an option.
My doctor decided that we'd keep on checking until 41 weeks to see if he'd dropped and if he dropped then we could talk about options for how to get him here. But if he didn't drop, my doctor wasn't willing to start labor and we'd have to schedule a c-section.
We said more family prayers, individual prayers, and I received more priesthood blessings in the 2 weeks leading up to Bennett's birth than even before. I felt like I was stuck in a place of limbo. I was trying to have faith that the VBAC would work out, but I knew I also needed to prepare myself emotionally for the c-section in case that happened. I just felt stuck. I was an emotional mess. Not to mention I was starting to get huge and so uncomfortable and disappointed about not being able to meet our little man!
I finally hit 41 weeks. We were scheduled for c-section at 7:30 am. We were told to arrive at the hospital at 5:30 am. My sweet doctor arrived at the hospital super early to check me to see if maybe, just maybe, he had dropped and we could try this thing the natural way. No go. It was decided that we'd be heading back for c-section.
At this point I'm an emotional mess. I'm devastated that after all that work and hoping and praying that I wouldn't even get to try the VBAC. I'm relieved because I'm sick of being pregnant and now I won't have to go through the ordeal of labor only to end up in a c-section anyway. I really didn't want to recover from labor and surgery like last time. At least I'd only have to recover from one of them this time. I'm happy because within the hour our little boy would finally be in our arms.
At this point all the surgery preparations are made. Scott warned me that they would take me back first and get everything going and that he wouldn't get to be with me until right before they made the incision. Even though I knew this was coming, I still wasn't prepared for it when they took him away. With all of the uncertainty of everything of the morning, and through the whole pregnancy, Scott had been my constant. He knew everything about hospitals and was always there to give me a heads up or to make sure I was getting the best care, so I panicked when he had to leave.
They took me back to my OR, which felt like Antarctica. I couldn't stop shivering from the cold and my nerves. They brought me a blanket which felt like it had been cooking in an oven. It was like heaven.
I got my epidural. It is a whole lot harder to get stuck with those needles when you're not feeling contractions. I had to bear hug a complete stranger while they gave me my epidural. All I kept thinking was, "Can't I please hug Scott during this?! I promise, he won't pass out."
Once I was sufficiently numb, they started setting up for the surgery. I had my head cranked towards the door, waiting any second for Scott to come in. Nothing. I was starting to get nervous. I was completely numb down there. The doctors are poised and ready to go for it. I would have no idea if they started slicing away. I yelled out from behind my curtain, "Dr. Pinell, you're not starting yet are you?" My sweetest doctor in the whole world yelled back, "Of course not, Sweetheart. I would never start without Daddy. We're bringing him in now!" Phew. I'm not the only one worried about Scott. I really didn't want him to miss this one:)
Finally I see Scott's face through the window and they bring him in. He rushed to my side and I couldn't stop crying. I was so happy and relieved to see him and have him by my side. The anticipation was building and we talked about how great it was going to be to meet our Bennett.
Scott gave me the entire play by play and within a matter minutes it was announced that he was coming! I felt a whole lot of pressure and they announce,d "Your boy is here!" Immediately shouts came from all around the room. "Whoa!" "What a big boy!" "He's huge!" Then the betting began, "I'll bet he's 8 lb!" "No way! He's 9 lb!" "No, he's definitely more than 9. He's in the high 9's!" Everyone placed their bets on how big our boy was. Scott's first words were, "He looks just like my Grandpa E!"
They immediately brought him around the curtain and gave me my first look at him. What a sight. They took him back to get him wrapped up so I could hold him. Scott stayed with me but I could see that he was itching to meet his little guy. I told him that he could leave and go be by Bennett's side.
I didn't see where he went, but I knew as soon he got there. I heard the sweetest conversation I've ever heard. I can't remember what Scott said, but he introduced himself to Bennett and was saying the sweetest, silliest things. I just remember laughing from behind the curtain at the sound of my boys' first conversation.
When Scott came back, he brought Bennett with him and I got to officially meet him. He was still crying when they gave him to me. They set him on my chest, and I put his face really close to mine and started talking to him. His face instantly changed and you could tell that he knew my voice. He calmed down and just looked at me while I talked to him and bawled my eyes out. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. Before long, they took him away. He went with Scott into the recovery room and I was told I'd be close behind.
After everything from the operation got wrapped up, I was on my way to join my boys again. The hospital had changed their policies from when I had delivered Addie. After she was born, she was taken away for 5 hours. I couldn't nurse her right away and we were just left to wonder where she'd gone and when she'd be back. This time was completely different. They now allow newborns into the recovery room! Once I was there and was set up, they brought Bennett to us and I was able to start nursing him right away. He latched on immediately and ate for 45 minutes straight without a hitch! What a blessing.
As Scott and I were bonding with our boy, we were really wanting to text our family and friends that he'd made it, but we wanted to send a name with the info. After all the trouble we'd had with trying to come up with a name, we decided it wasn't going to get any easier and we just needed to pick something! We both felt good about the name Bennett so we decided to go for it. Scott sent out his first batch of texts and turned to me and said, "Did we make the right choice?!" We decided that it was too late and that we were sure Bennett was right. As the days go on, I'm happier and happier with our choice!
Bennett Harold Ellsworth came to our family on May 31, 2012 at 7:50 am. He weighed in at 9 lb 9 oz and was 21 3/4 inches long. He came to us absolutely perfect! There have been no complications. It's funny how you don't realize something is missing, until it's there. I thought our family of 3 was perfect, until we became 4. We love having Bennett here. He has brought so much peace and calm into our home. We are so grateful that he was sent to us!
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| Here I am at 5 Days Old |
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| Mom thinks I look like my Uncle Calvin |
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| My Mom and Dad aren't sure what color my hair is, but they know it's got some red and blonde in it. |
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| I like to go cross-eyed |
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| I'm working on becoming a model. |
